Who knew losing a pet could hurt so much? It has been a very long 5 days and I am not sure I am ready to talk about it all. I never thought I would be this affected by the loss of one of our pets.
On Saturday, Alayna noticed Daisy was acting weird. we said we would keep an eye on her. By Sunday morning, she was definitely acting weird and hadn't eaten any of her food or drank any water. Our vet clinic was closed Sunday so we had to drive all the way done to the emergency vet clinic. We spent 2 hours there. She had a heart murmur and her digestive system was shutting down. Not sure why. He tried an ultrasound which showed stuff sloshing in her tummy. He gave us 3 meds and sent us home. Told us to feed her as much as possible. She refused to eat. We held her all evening and night. By morning, she was much worse.
She had lost about 1/2 her weight (they become anorexic within 16 hours) and was hardly moving. Still not eating or drinking. went all the way back to the emergency clinic. We were there 2 more hours. She was much worse and they said she sgould be hospitalized- the bill would be $1700! How is that even possible? I paid for the xray which showed her tummy and intestines were fully bloated with gas. They dont burp so its hard to get gas out. The meds were supposed to help. They didnt. We headed home knowing we would probably lose her that night. We took shifts holding her and feeding her through a dropper. She did ok until Tuesday morning.
She refused to even open her mouth or swallow the water. Alayna and Tyler held her and fed her all day (while i was at a stupid waste of time conferences in Des Moines). I took over when I got hom and held her all through the night. Neither Alayna or I went to bed. Daisy’s breathing got shallower and slower. I felt so helpless and sobbed. A lot.
I got up early and called to find a place that would euthanize her so we could let her have peace. The stupid dr wouldnt come in until noon. So, Alayna and I took turns holding her, soother her, putting drops of water on her lips while we bawled.
Around 10 she started spasming and was having a hard time breathing. We kept petting her and soothing her. At 1030 she made this tiny weird squeak and gasped for breath. I was crying so hard I could barely see her. She did it 3 more times and then the breathing stopped. ALayna took her from my hearts and sat there crying while she held her. I felt like my heart was ripping. I still wish I could have done something else to save her.
After a while we went down and held the other 2 guineas.
We are comforted by the gospel and the knowledge that we will see her again. Sometimes I feel dumb, like we are making a big deal out of this tiny mammal. But we all loved her dearly and she was and always will be part of our family. We are glad we were home with her today, to be there to comfort her and love her to the very last breath. This heartache and grief makes me dread the future and the loss of human loved ones in our lives. I know it is the circle of life, but the grief is very real.
We will always love you, Daisy! Thank you for the light and joy you brought to our family. we know you are happily trotting around, running and exploring, with lots of guineas in heaven. We love you and look forward to seeing you again!
