I don't have the words...

So, it is now March 29th and the world has gone to hell in a handbasket....literally!  I have never gone this long without blogging and these past few months have been full of major changes for our family as well as the world. I have also realized I only posted 1 day of our Christmas trip.  Clearly, I have been a little busy.  I consider this blog as a big part of our family history.  I need to update quickly before I forget. This is a great time to do it as we are in Global Fast and home quarantine (to be explained in a few blog entries.) I have had so many feelings and emotions about everything- so hang on tight- 4 months of blog entries...so where do I begin???

One special moment

There was one particular moment on our trip that was truly surreal. We were at the beach in Grand Turk, which is one of my favorite spots in the world. The weather was perfect. The water is a turquoise/aqua which is hard to grasp if you aren’t there in person. We had this part of the beach to ourselves and Ellie and I were in the water. We were going up and down with the waves. Up and down. Up and down. She fell asleep in my arms. I looked around: I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world, I had my grandbaby asleep in my arms, I saw the rest of my family snorkeling a few feet away from me with sea turtles and I felt such a deep, deep peace. As I looked around, I realized…THIS is my Why. All I could hear was the waves and my priorities as to what truly matters became clearer than the water (if that’s even possible). I wish I could have captured that moment somehow. But this picture is my reminder of what truly matters and how grateful I am to experience that beautiful moment of peace and joy!

This photo has meaning...

This photo has meaning...

What you don’t see…
…Is the pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) about 13 years ago. It has been a tough road. While there are things to help with the pain- it is something that will be with me the rest of my life. There is no cure. It affects every single moment of my life.
…Is the constant, unyielding exhaustion. The need for 10 hours of sleep every night just to function. The sometimes 50 hours I sleep I need on long weekends. And the terrible pain I experience when I can’t sleep.
…Is how I have always taken care of myself and my health since Bob and I were married. But despite this, I started rapidly gaining weight.
…is that I get up at 4:30AM every day to do the treadmill and strength training to help stay healthy and help with the pain. I am very careful with what I eat. But I feel judged because I kept gaining and gaining and gaining. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong and I know people look at me and go “Wow- she was a dancer- look at how she has let herself go”. I beat myself up with that. I beat myself up hard- even though it’s not my fault.
…is that this entire past year was packed full of doctor visits and so many tests. Was finally diagnosed with another life-changing chronic illness with no cure. You can’t imagine the tears- both for getting answers and for another debilitating illness to add to my life.
…is that even with this diagnosis- there was still something wrong. Add more tests, more dr visits, more specialists. FINALLY diagnosed with a rare eating issue called FODMAP intolerance. Long story short, my body can’t “read” certain foods- like apples, avocados, yogurt, cheese, cherries, etc- the exact menu I was eating to be healthy!
…is that every day for the past few years I come home and go straight to my bed. I hook into several machines: a large heating pad for my back at 166 degrees, circulation boots to warm and circulate the blood in my legs, and a TENS unit for muscles acting like jerks. I go to sleep by 6:30.

Why I am proud of this year:
… I have lost 26 POUNDS this past year!!! It helps when you eat things your body can read! And keep your body stabilized.
… Yoga has literally changed my life! Since my husband and I started (in June) to do yoga every night- I haven’t had to hook in to my heating pad, circulation boots, and TENS unit. Do you know what a miracle that is???
…I LOVE my job and hope and pray that every day I make a difference.
…I ended my year with in the most beautiful places with my most favorite people in the world.

Bring on 2020!

Day 1: Getting on the cruise/Fun day at sea

Lots of snuggles and lots of favorite movies/videos

 We made it to GOLD status!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I think the thing I am looking forward to the most is relaxing over break.  We planned relaxing fun in the sun.  I can't think of anything better right now!

We had some baby bunnies come to school to be read to.  It was such a great day!

Then Lisa brought in her kittens for a Teacher Therapy day in our back room. I am sure I dont have to tell you how much that was needed. They ate lunch with me.

A kid said to me "I am just dying to know what you will bring in next!"lol


 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Got Alaynas senior announcements done!  They will be mailed soon!

We are still loving yoga and getting stronger every day.  I swear by it for us older people.  Im excited to try sunrise yoga on the ship!  Bob was able to hold this for over a minute! Not to shabby for a 51 year old!

Speaking of birthdays...Happy Birthday to Bob this week!  We were able to go celebrate at Happy Joes (tradition, right?!)

Yoga breaks in the library...

Lily and Rosie got to be guests at the school Guinea Pig Club!

The number 1 announcement is...The cruise is coming up and I CANNOT wait!!!

This has been an incredibly transformative year for me (but more on that later.) This Christmas and holiday season I wanted to focus completely on my incredible family and create memorable experiences we will remember forever. We are about to embark on a much-needed break celebrating Marisa, Kayla, and Brandon’s college graduations from BYU, Alayna’s early high school graduation from high school, and the beauty of eternal families! 

20 days people. 20. days.

Part 4- Odds and ends

CONGRATULATIONS to Alayna for being accepted into BYU-Idaho!  Which is her 1st choice.  She is still waiting to hear from BYU to make final choices but she is super happy!

I finally got to meet Anthony this week! We got to Facetime the whole family on Halloween!  Glad my parents and Grandma Jo got to meet him too!  We love him!

We LOVED taking Ellie out Trick or Treating.  She was adorable but it was freezing!!  It was around 30 degrees but she loved it!

We got to watch Tyler play on a live broadcast- He would need to explain more, but I know he is pretty high ranked in Overwatch and he and the team he works with played and we were able to watch him play live- which was cool!

Did I mention I have a new yoga buddy?