The past few weeks have had incidents and events that have pushed my thoughts into focusing on an eternal perspective. Funny how some events can do that- take you out of that day to day survival mode you are in and make you reconsider the things in your life that are the most important.
The news a few weeks ago that my father has cancer- well, it was shocking and devastating and left me kind of stunned. The first thing that crossed my mind was that I never considered losing him or my mom. Maybe I always figured I would die first so I would never have to deal with that. I am relieved at the news that for now he is ok and the trip to the Caribbean means more now than ever.
Then, this week, one of my worst fears came true. I always worry when my kids walk out the door that something may happen, an accident, a disappearance (I read too many murder mysteries), any kind of harm. So far we have been lucky. This Wednesday that all changed…
Tyler and Alayna were in a car accident. They were crossing the stupid intersection out by Aldis- the one where there is always an accident. He swears he looked to the right and didn’t see the car coming. To his credit it was really dark outside and we don’t know if the other people had their lights on. The car slammed into Alayna’s side (a few seconds later and it would have hit her directly). She hit her head on the window and injured her leg (only sore, no blood and not broken). More than anything they were shocked. Alayna says she doesn’t remember much. They hit a young couple- she was 8 months pregnant and taken to the hospital in an ambulance for observation. Both cars were totaled. I feel extremely blessed my children are ok as it could have been so much worse. We watched them carefully the next few days for signs of concussions or whiplash. Tyler says he will never ever go through that intersection again. I was also relieved to see that we had full liability coverage- enough that it made me cry. The other couple didn’t have insurance. What if we hadnt had it? We would be screwed financially for life. So, I am grateful for insurance payments and insurance coverage, as odd as that may sound.
What else was upsetting? My family didn’t wake me- I found out the next morning. I am not upset with them, nor will I ever be, I am angry and upset with my illness. An illness that will progressively get worse. An illness where I am judged when people can’t see the pain. An illness that is increasing my weight and CFS exponentially and no doctors can find out how to fix it. I crashed that night at 5:30. I am missing hours at night. I basically function in a survival mode and I hate that. My family let me sleep- it had been a long week, if they woke me they knew I wouldn’t sleep that night, I’d be in lots of pain, and it would take days to get back on schedule. So, I wasn’t there to hug my children and let them know it would be ok. I wasn’t there to kiss their booboos like I did when they were young (although Tyler would smack me now if I tried). But that was a tough loss for me. Tough being reminded that I am NOT superwoman. I can’t do it all- I may never be able to accept that…Ok, on to happier things….
Kayla is having a blast in Idaho!
I made some table décor for the high school using our evergreen tree and some cranberries…
Bob is doing an amazing job on the banister- look at the difference…
We had our 1st snow and I am not ready for all the cold, snow and ice…its not fair that Marisa is in the nice hot sun! JK Marisa…
The Arrow painting finally arrived!
Sometimes it is the smallest of things that can turn your week around….
When your husband knows it’s a tough week and gets you flowers “Just Because”
Or when you find out the most terrifying guy (The 1st one in years to give you actual nightmares) who plays the Penguin in the new show Gotham, is from Iowa, then you tweet him saying how you would love to meet him and he favorites your tweet and then his fan club contacts you and asks you to join!
Heres to a better week!
