Sunday, August 02, 2020

Thoughts and an A-Ha moment

The last 4-5 months have been very different in the world- our daily lives and what "normal" is have changed.  For me I have been extremely grateful for the time. I was asked by someone in February- if I could have any superpower what would I want? I answered "invisibility" because honestly who wouldn't want that? But that night, after thinking about it, I decided what I really wanted was the ability to stop time. I had just been offered my dream job and was essentially working 2 jobs as we started prepping.  I was hurting and past my exhaustion point.  I was just trying to crawl to Spring Break.  When the bell rang and we left for spring break- I watched all the teachers leave looking as exhausted as I was- many talking about not coming back next year. As I was on the plane to Cancun I thought- there has to be a way to slow down time so I can catch up.

This virus, for me, has been a massively huge answer to my prayers.  I was able to spend 3 weeks with my girls in Utah- which I would never be able to do- and be there for Rylan's birth and Marisa's wedding.  I was able to hold both grand-kids every day, spend time walking to see animals, experiences I will treasure forever.  I have been able to walk every day outside with Bob and spend time together in the evening, and knock of riding the train across Colorado!  I have been able to focus on me, my health, and most of all my soul.

Yoga and the peace it brings has been life-changing.  But more than that I have had more time for the scriptures which has been invaluable.  The last several conferences have mentioned many times over and over that we MUST be reading the Book of Mormon and studying the general conference talks every single day.  "Every day, every day, every day."  They have also said we have to make ourselves worthy for personal revelation and stay on the covenant path- no one else can do that for us.  I was reading before but not consistently- my reading, studying, immersing in that every day has again, been literally life-changing.
Now it's a habit and priority which I am grateful for.


I had one very profound A-ha moment recently while I was on the treadmill watching X-men.  I wasn't planning to share but its been nudging me for weeks so here you go. There is a part in "Xmen: Days of future past" (the confusing movie with time travel) where the younger Charles Xavier visits the old Charles Xavier in the future.
Long story short: he had gone into Cerebro after many many years.  For those who aren't up on X-men- in Cerebro he can see every single person in the world and can feel all their pain and joy.  It is overwhelming- but he is the only one in the world who can do it because of his "superpower".  He tells the older Charles "I just can't do it, there is so much pain." The older one says: "It's the greatest gift we have, to bear their pain without breaking." I almost fell off the treadmill.  For the 1st time it made clear sense (plus the visual in Cerebro) how the Savior could feel and experience and carry our pain so we don't break.  What a beautiful sentiment.  I am grateful how we can learn line upon line and grateful for a Savior who knows my physical pain and is the Master Healer.  (Even if these A-ha moments come in the middle of Xmen!)

Hoping you all have a Happy Sabbath- we love and miss you all!

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Utah- Part 4