Where do I even begin?

How do I even begin???

These last few weeks have been challenging to say the least. I have been anxious to get it all written down before I forget. It’s been a whirlwind of ups and downs, and to me, a realization of how fast life can pass you by.

Kayla stayed home for the month of January so we could work on all the wedding plans. The wedding was a lot of work. I don’t think anyone really has a clue how much goes into a wedding until you are the other of the bride. They (we) truly carry the majority of the stress.

The Dress:

One of the biggest stresses for me was my dress. If I was smart, I would open my own mother of the bride dress store. I looked in every store and shopped online for hours on end. The dresses are either 1) Made for gmas in their 90s (no offense) or 2) Made for European models who have never a baby, let alone 4 babies, pop out of them! I finally found a dress that I thought I could make work. I ordered it from the overseas company (whose waist sizes are very small). It arrived and I was so excited to try it on only to my find I was way too fat. Then, the company refused a refund since I “knew the exact measurements” when I ordered. Ugh! So I stayed up all that night researching again. Finally found another international company based out of Singapore. I chatted with a lady and she guaranteed that the dress would be there for the wedding. I prayed it would make it and it would fit. I checked the website the next day to see the status of the dress, only to find out the website was shut down. I emailed only to have the emails returned undeliverable. I cried. A few days later I got the account up only to see they were being sued. I gave up on it. There was no way it was coming or would arrive on time. Amazingly, the dress did arrive at Marisa’s house 5 days before the wedding. I tried it on 2 nights before. It was big on the top, But beautiful, so we pinned me in for the reception. I asked Marisa and Alayna what their colors are so I can start looking for a dress now!!!

Medical Problems:

Kayla kept telling me there was something wrong. I kept telling her that everything is fine, she is just worried about the wedding. It’s nothing to worry about, everything is fine. After several days of this, I decided we should check. Our doctor had moved that week to Wisconsin. The doctor I wanted her to have was booked, so they got us in with another new doctor. She was due to have her baby that day so they weren’t sure she would be there. Thank goodness she was there, but her nurse is one of the rudest people I have ever met and should never be allowed to work in a doctor’s office. The doctor said we needed to take her to a specialist. The 1^st doctor they called couldn’t get her in for 6 weeks! That wasn’t going to work, we needed to get her in ASAP! Finally found a dr who would take her that Wednesday and could possibly do the surgery we thought she needed that day as well.

I took her in and she got an ultrasound. The doctor was super kind and was so helpful. She did have the option of surgery, but he was sure she would still be very sore by the time the wedding came. Instead, he gave her some meds to help and she could eventually go see a specialist once the wedding and honeymoon were over. He was a big answer to prayers and we were so happy to get some answers.

My Medical Problems:

A week before we left, I ran into some problems as well. I have had a problem with my elbow since the summer I got my Master’s degree. Every once in while it starts hurting again. With the stress of the wedding and everything else piling on, I really wrenched it. It got so bad that even grasping books at work caused pretty severe pain to shoot all the way up my arm. I did ask the doctor who was sure it was Tennis Elbow. It’s very painful in case anyone is wondering. Best way to help it is to not use it. Yeah, right.

Then, I had a dentist appointment and was told I have 2 cavities. I was so ticked! But the worst part was that they said my blood pressure was way too high and I really needed to have it checked. Duh! I have been monitoring it. It was bad the last day of school last year. My doctor was supposed to be keeping an eye on it. I even had my annual physical in November and the doctor didn’t say a word about it. My BP has been sitting at 140/98 for about 6 months.

I talked to my mom and she stressed I should get in on that Monday and get it checked for the wedding. My 1^st instinct was that I was just fine. I don’t have time for this! But that evening, it kept bugging me “You NEED to go in.” FINE!, my angry self said. After work, I dragged myself to the walkin clinic where I had to wait over an hour to be seen. Did I mention that I don’t have time for this?

This nurse was nice but the doctor needs a major course on bedside manner. She said my BP was way too high so she was going to do an EKG. I realized that was probably going to cost me way too much so I told her I was fine and didn’t need one. She insisted. The whole time I was getting it, I kept thinking they would come back and say everything was fine and it would all be a complete waste. She came back in and that is not what she said. Instead she basically said, “This isn’t good at all. You are so lucky you came in because between your super high BP and these 2 heart problems, you most likely would have had a heart attack when you went up into a higher altitude to get to the wedding.” Well, that was really the last thing I was expecting to hear! I am 44. I don’t have to worry about my heart for years. I work out. I eat well. What happened??? I guess that high BP was making my heart work too hard. I have 2 problems. 1. The electricity going through the left side of my heart is being blocked by something so it is taking another path. Not good. 2. The left side of my heart is swollen and enlarged and thickening. Again, not good. She got me on blood pressure meds asap and said they wanted me at my new dr by 8:00 the next morning and would get me in to see a cardiologist as soon as possible. Oh great.

I didn’t sleep that night. At all. I was terrified I would die in my sleep and never wake up. I was still young. I don’t have my will notarized. I want to see my grandkids. It was a very tough night. A reminder that life can be short and we always need to be prepared.

I saw my new doctor the next morning at 8. She and I were trying to figure out all my other health issues I have been genetically blessed with. She says she has never seen a case like mine. Of course not. I go in this month for more testing. Then they sent me straight to the cardiologist. I had to do an echocardiogram 3 days before we left for the wedding. The dr says the BP meds are working great and hopefully as that stays down, the heart should heal. In the meantime, I need to slow down and lower my stress. Yeah, right.

 

Job Change?

As if all of this stuff wasn’t enough, I was approached by the curriculum director of the Anamosa district. The district just recently received the TLC grant, creating some new leadership/administrative type positions to help teachers. To be honest, I was too overwhelmed with life to even consider it. They did a presentation on it telling teachers to apply. I sat like a lump half paying attention. The director came to me the next day and said, “I see you haven’t applied yet, why not?” Ummm, I don’t know? She told me she wanted me in that position and so did the principal (even though she legally couldn’t tell me so). Ok, so I started the application. I am/was very conflicted. I don’t want to ever leave the library, but I cant stay at the HS. Like the doctor said, the extra stress has got to go. If these LinnMar library jobs fall through, I have to have something to fall back on. Then I get an email from the middle school principal saying she saw that I had started the application but never submitted it. I told her it was because I was waffling. I don’t want to leave the library. She said she could help me talk it out. I said ok, and that morning she was in talking with me. She never does that. I turned in the application on the day it was due. I was told within 24 hours that I would be interviewing the Wednesday I got back. Then, that all had to go on the back burner as the wedding trip had approached!